Feeling like shit.

I feel like shit today. I woke up, and I just wanted to keep sleeping. I got up, but I just wanted to lay down. I'm not lazy. I'm lost to apathy. I urge for diazepam, swallowed down with help from a bottle of vodka. I want it, but I can't. I can't be that stupid right now. I need myself right now. They need me right now. I can't fail myself, I can't fail them. I must keep strong and fighting on. This world is on fire and I need to hold it for as long as I can. But what I truly need, is just a caring hug. No drugs, no sleeping, nothing. A simple loving hug will fix me. Will you fix me?

...

You're afraid to bring me down. I won't let you. I believe you don't want to do so. I'll stretch my arm for you to catch it, and I won't leave you, even if you pull me down. I will not allow you to reach the misery other's left you in. I will not allow you to enter the dark, empty vortex. Don't make me go after you, because I will. And I will only rest when I pull you out to safety. Even if you push me in after I save you.

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'll do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you...

So what if I never hold you, or kiss your lips again?
I never want to leave you, and the memories for us to see
I beg don't leave me...